XMAS Story
by PhantomAL
Summary: After Lancer gets angry and yells at Sam during Christmas for something she didnt do, Danny thinks up a plan to fix Lancer's Xmas hating ways... Eventually DxS
1. Painful Memories

In this story, I shall parody basically EVERY Christmas movie that you know of. So, expect this to be one of my weirdest fanfictions. ENJOY!

Disclaimer: I don't own either DP nor "A Christmas Carol"

PhantomAL

* * *

XMAS Story

Chapter 1  
Painful Memories

(Danny's POV)

My grandfather was dead to begin with. As dead as a doornail. He died 7 years ago this Christmas eve. Ok, not really the most cheerful way to start off a humorous story, but it's how it begins. So anyway, in life my grandfather, David Fenton, was the former principal of Casper High. He wasn't the nicest guy around, but he had a soft spot for me.

But although my grandfather is a main part in this story, the main person we need to focus on was a man by the name of Vice Principal Edward Lancer. Yes, Lancer is basically the main character in this little story of mine. Because this guy was the most miserable, mean, sack of fat and hair that I've ever seen. Especially around the holidays. But the story actually starts 2 days before Christmas.

It was before school and I was at the park. The park was covered with snow. I had my jacket and jeans on. I had gloves on and a scarf. All of this on and I was still cold inside. My grandfather had died seven years ago that day. And I was sad beyond belief. I sat on the park bench and just started to think about my life, and my grandfather's. I kind of missed him a lot. I was about to walk to school when I felt a presence near me.

* * *

"I had a feeling you'd be depressed today" Sam said.

I looked up at her with a small smile. She was in a purple and white coat with a black scarf. She was wearing jeans and her traditional boots.

"How'd you figure?" I asked.

"Danny" she said, sitting next to me. "I've been your friend for at least ten years. I was alive seven years ago when…you know…it happened"

I then sighed. And looked down.

She put her hand on my shoulder.

"Danny, it's ok" she said. "You grandfather was a great person. Though he was kind of stern, and greedy, and a little obsessive, he was still a good person. You shouldn't feel like this during Christmas. And coming from someone like me, that should mean a lot"

She then hugged me. I hugged her back. She made me feel better, more happier.

I then smiled. For the first time all day, I was truly happy.

"C'mon" I said. "Let's get to school"

* * *

About 10 minutes later, we were at school. The school was decked out with Christmas decorations. And everyone was in the spirit of the holiday. Well…ALMOST everyone…

"Why should I donate money to the orphanage?" Lancer yelled into the telephone. "I give money to NPR, the prisons, and the poorhouses. Aren't there any of the latter two?"

"Yes, sir" the donatee on the phone said. "But many would rather be dead than go to those places!"

"Well, if they could die, then they should. There are too many people in this world as there is!"

He then slammed down the phone. Now, I knew that Lancer was mean and bitter, but that was just evil!

"Hmmm" Lancer said, sitting in his desk, going through papers. "Christmas. Just another reason for kids to get out of school to fill their heads with meaningless things like presents, candy, and decorated trees. Rubbish"

He then opened up his front desk drawer. Now, opening up a drawer creates a number of opportunities for the person opening said drawer. For example, one might find something new inside the drawer that would make them happy. Also, one might open said drawer and find something that would get them pissed and bitter. As you would've guessed it, Lancer's reaction to what happened next was the latter of the two.

A jack in the box came out dressed as an elf. Lancer, being in his late forties, was surprised. He flew back in his chair to the back of the room, hit his bookcase, making it topple, making the books hit his statues and pictures-shattering them. Lancer grabbed his chest and pulled some pills out of his pocket. He swallowed at least three of the pills and walked over to the jack in the box, picking up the piece of paper that came out of the box. Here's what was on it:

"Happy Holidays

S.M."

Lancer then got an evil look in his eyes and growled out the single name.

"Manson…"

* * *

Ok, this chapter might've been a little depressing for a humor fic, but it gets better. And the "NPR" reference is from one of comedians Patton Oswalt's comedy routines. He says: "I send money to NPR. But, it's UNLISTENABLE RADIO! I pay them money to NOT LISTEN TO THEM!" It really funny. It's on Comedy Central sometimes, so watch it next time you have the chance. READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!

PhantomAL


	2. Fa La La La Soundtrack

Ok, I've been searching my music and the internet for the best Christmas songs in my opinion. And here they are!  
PhantomAL

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XMAS Story soundtrack

Where Are You, Christmas?- Faith Hill

Christmas Is Almost Here- The Arrogant Worms

The Chanukah Song- Adam Sandler

The Christmas Song- The Chipmunks

I Yust Go Nuts At Christmas- Yogi Yorgesson

Christmas Turkey Blues- The Arrogant Worms

I Wasn't Broke For Christmas- Billy West

Christmas At Ground Zero- "Weird AL" Yankovic

Merry Fuckin' Christmas- Dennis Leary

Oh God, I'm Santa Claus! - The Arrogant Worms

You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch- Jim Carrey

Mistress For Christmas- AC/DC

The Chanukah Song Part 2- Adam Sandler

Pretty Fly For A Rabbi- "Weird AL" Yankovic

The Twelve Gifts of Christmas- Allan Sherman

Santa's Gonna Kick Your Ass- The Arrogant Worms

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer- Dr. Elmo

The Christmas Song- Adam Sandler

Hail To Thee, Fat Person- Allan Sherman

Lonely Christmas Eve- Ben Folds

Green Christmas- Barenaked Ladies

Here's Your Sign Christmas- Bill Engvall

Redneck 12 Days of Christmas- Jeff Foxworthy

Mendel, the Jewish Reindeer- The Nudniks

In Which I Finally Admit That I Won World War II Single Handed- Allan Sherman

The Night Santa Went Crazy- "Weird AL" Yankovic

The Chanukah Song Part 3- Adam Sandler

* * *

Ok, hope you like these songs!  
PhantomAL 


	3. Lancer Goes Apeshit

Ok, if you thought that Lancer was a jerk in the last chapter, you have NO IDEA how much of a jerk he is in this one. But, don't penalize me for making him go hard on Sam this chapter. I know he's mean, but it's how the story goes.

PhantomAL

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Chapter 2  
Lancer Goes Apeshit

"MANSON!" Lancer yelled. Everyone heard it, even with the door closed.

"Uh oh" Sam said.

"Jesus" Tucker said. "What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything" Sam said.

"Well, be careful" I said. "Heaven knows what in God's name can set Lancer over the edge on Christmas…"

* * *

"A JACK IN THE BOX!" Sam yelled, realizing what in God's name set Lancer over the edge on Christmas.

"Not just any jack in the box" Lancer said, evilly. "But a jack in the box: rebel edition with realistic black hair with a nose piercing and a bendable middle finger."

"But I didn't buy it! It's not mine!" Sam said.

"Purchased with YOUR credit card, with YOUR signature on YOUR receipt." Lancer said.

"I'm picking up your sarcasm" Sam said, admitting defeat.

"Well, I'm laying it down pretty damn thick" Lancer said. "Now, any other time of the year, I would punish you with detention. But this is Christmas, so…"

"Letting me off easy?" Sam asked, hopeful.

"I was thinking…2 month suspension"

At that moment I swear to God that I heard a small whimper from Lancer's office. I was listening to the entire conversation from outside his door.

"SUSPENSION?" Sam yelled. "Are you insane?"

That did it.

"Now look, Manson!" Lancer said. "I might be able to treat you like a jerk, but you may not do the same! Now, I have a lot to do this Christmas. And the last thing I need is some whiny Goth to ruin my day"

Sam had a shocked look on her face.

"Yeah, you heard me." Lancer said. "You know if you were half the girl Paulina is then you would at least have a boyfriend. But, I don't think that's possible."

At that moment, I heard Paulina laughing in the background, along with her cronies. Therefore I missed the last part of the conversation. Which went a little somethin' like this…

* * *

"And if you spent less time looking at Mr. Fenton and daydreaming about him, you would at least be able to make an honest future for yourself. And even if you and him DID end up together, that would get you nowhere. Because he's a idiotic, scrawny little slacker!"

That did it.

"HEY!" Sam yelled, standing up. "DANNY IS NOT AN IDIOT! HE'S A GREAT PERSON AND WOULD BE A GREAT BOYFRIEND! NOW JUST SHUT UP!"

Lancer stood there in shock.

* * *

"What's so funny?" I asked, walking up to them.

"Sam" Paulina said. "I can't believe it worked! All it took was to steal Sam's credit card and some meaningless identity theft to get the loser suspended"

THAT did it.

"Look, Paulina" I yelled.

She and her friends looked at me with wide eyes.

"Sam is NOT a loser!" I yelled. "She is a beautiful person with a great personality! She would outmatch you in the brain department, I'll tell ya that! Now, just SHUT UP!"

At that moment, Sam ran out the door crying.

"Sam?" I asked, trying to follow her, but to no avail. "Sam! Wait!"

But she kept running, all the way home.

"Oh, shit" I said. "I gotta do something."

I then ran out of school and hid behind a tree and went ghost. I then flew to Sam's house.

_Merry fuckin' Christmas…_ I thought to myself.

* * *

Man, I feel horrible. Writing like that. And at Christmas. Man, I'm sorry if I made anyone upset when they read this chapter. But it's just how the story goes. But, the next chapter is no slammin' on anybody. Just the opposite… Read and review please. NO FLAMES.  
PhantomAL 


	4. Comfort Of A Friend

Ok, I've been hard on Sam for a while now. I think it's time for my fingers and my brain to stop beating the shit out of each other and get along.  
PhantomAL

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Chapter 3 

Comfort Of A Friend

(Danny's POV)

I flew to Sam's house. While flying, I started to think.

_Poor Sam. I wonder what Lancer did to her to make her cry. I don't need BOTH of us to be depressed on Christmas. Whatever happened, I need to find a way to make Sam happy. And a way to avoid that wall in front of me…_

WHAM!

"OWW!" I yelled. "Son of a…"

I then flew down and went back into human mode. I knocked on the door. Sam's mom, Marilyn, opened the door.

"Oh, hello Daniel" she said. "What are you doing out of school?"

"What's Sam doing out of school?" I asked. "What happened?"

"Something happened" she told me. "She doesn't want to tell me. She just ran upstairs crying and she locked the door."

"Well," I said, "Could I talk to her?"

"Actually, she doesn't want to see anyone. I've kind of seen her like this before. Something about a Paulina girl or something"

_Oh man. _I thought. _No wonder she hates me talking about her…_

"Anyway, she said that she doesn't want to talk to anyone. I'm sorry, Daniel" she said. "But every door in this house is locked especially to a different code for a different door. I'm sorry, but she's not up for it. Goodbye, Daniel."

She then closed the door.

"Wasn't planning on using the door…" I said in a sing-song voice with a sly grin.

* * *

I then went ghost again and flew up to Sam's window. I saw her face-down in her pillow, crying. I felt like crying myself. I never saw her like this before. I had already inched closer to the window where my nose almost touched. My nose twitched.

_Uh oh._

I sneezed, making my head bump against the door, drawing Sam's attention to the window. Her eyes were red and puffy. But I saw a small, weak smile on her face. I waved, gently smiling myself. She moved her head, signaling me to come in. I phased through the door and turned human again. I walked over to her bed and sat down on it. After a few moments of not saying anything, Sam just started crying again. She buried her head in my chest and hugged me. I blushed, but I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back. We just sat there as I rocked her slowly back and forth.

After a while, Sam's crying became softer until it was gone. She lifted her head up and smiled at me. I smiled back, wiping some stray tears from her face.

* * *

"Now, ready to tell me what happened?" I asked softly.

We let go of each other and sat on her bed. I just kept one arm around her shoulder.

"Lancer was yelling at me about…"

"Yes, I know that. That was horrible what he said to you. I heard every word. But what I really want to know is what he said or did to make you cry."

She started to sniffle again. I hugged her tighter.

"C'mon, Sam" I said. "It's alright. Everything's gonna be ok."

She smiled again.

"Well," she said. "After I yelled at him he just sat there and said one thing"

"What was it?" I asked.

"Expulsion" she said, tears starting to form in her eyes.

THAT DID IT.

"What!" I yelled. Sam jumped back. I quickly calmed down and scooted closer to her.

"I'm sorry, Sam" I said. "I couldn't control myself. I can't believe that he gave you an expulsion for jack in the box. That's just criminal."

"He said that if I come within 20 feet of the school he'll call the police."

"Oh my God" I said outside. What I said _inside_ was "WHAT THE FUCK!"

* * *

"Well, what am I gonna do?" Sam said, not crying anymore.

"Well, just because Lancer doesn't want you at school, doesn't mean that you still can't go" I said, holding Sam's hand, making her entire body invisible.

"Danny…" she said sternly.

"Fine, fine" I said, letting go of her hand, making her visible again. "Just go downstairs and tell your parents that you got expelled from school. I'm sure that they'll understand."

I started walking towards the window when I felt Sam's hand grab onto mine.

"Wait, Danny" she said.

I turned around. She sighed.

"Alright" she said, smiling. "You talked me into it. You can make me invisible. But just for tomorrow. You just have to find a way to talk to Lancer."

"Ok" I said.

Sam then leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. I blushed hard and smiled.

"Uh…thanks" I stuttered.

"You're welcome" she said, blushing. "Man, Lancer is a real Scrooge"

"Yeah" I said.

* * *

Then an idea hit me.

"Scrooge…" I whispered.

"What?" Sam said.

"Sam" I said with a crazy smile. "You have just given me a 2-in-1 idea"

"What do you mean?"

"One: To get you un-expelled, and two: to cure Lancer of his evilness"

"How so?"

"Call Tucker and meet me at my house in 15 minutes. I'll tell you all about it."

"Ok…" she said.

"And Sam?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

I walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek.

"Thanks"

"For what?" she said, blushing.

"For being a great friend…maybe more"

I then flew out of the window. Smiling a smile almost as large as Sam's.

_Well, I can finally admit it. _I thought. _I'm in love with Sam.

* * *

_

Told ya things would get better for Sam. And things will get better for Dan as well. Just as a hint: Dan's grandfather has something to do with it. I've said too much. READ AND REVIEW!  
PhantomAL


	5. Family Reunions

Ok, I promised you guys new chapters. So, until this thing is finished, I wont be updating anymore of my stories. Don't feel sad, just until Christmas Eve. And you guys have to keep reviewin and reminding me to update. My mind is complicated like that. So, here ya go!

* * *

Chapter 4

Family Reunion

(Danny's POV)

Just like I said, 15 minutes later Sam and Tucker arrived at my house.

"Danny?" Sam asked. "Where are you?"

"Down in the lab!" I yelled. "Come on down!"

So Sam and Tucker came downstairs to the lab, where I was already in ghost mode and was filling the Specter Speeder up with gas.

"I thought that thing ran on ectoplasm" Tucker said.

"No, the ghost shield is powered by ectoplasm" I said. "But the speeder itself needs gas just like a car"

"I feel like I'm in Back to the Future Part 3" Sam said.

All three of us got into the Speeder. Then I turned the ignition key and off it went into the Ghost Zone

* * *

We were making our third round around the Ghost Zone when Sam was falling asleep.

"Danny" she yawned. "What exactly are we looking for?"

"Someone that can help us" I said.

"Who?" Tucker asked. "An old friend?"

I paused for a second.

Inhale.

Exhale.

"You could say that…" I said.

* * *

My eyes finally spotted a fire coming from a small piece of land in the ghost zone.

"My God" I said, steering the Speeder down to the piece of land.

I set the speeder on "cruise control" while it was still going downward. I then turned human again and walked over to a sleeping Sam, sitting down next to her.

"Sam" I whispered, shaking her gently. "Sam, wake up"

She stirred, but didn't wake up.

_You brought it on yourself, Sam…_ I thought.

"SAM!" I yelled. "EVIL GHOST SCIENTISTS ARE DOING HORRIBLE TESTS ON INNOCENT RABBITS!"

"Ahh!" Sam yelled, waking up. "Where!"

I then started laughing hard.

"You think that's funny, Fenton?" she said.

"No" I said. "I think it's hilarious"

She then punched me hard in the arm.

"Ow" I said, even though it really didn't hurt. "That hurt"

"So did the crack about the bunnies" she said, smiling. "Now we're even"

"Yehhh" I grunted. "You win this time. But remember: I'm a ghost and I know how to get to your house."

"You better not…" she said sternly.

"How do you know he already hasn't?" Tucker chimed in.

That shut Sam and I up. We were both blushing. Me the most because I told Tucker to never let that slip out. Ok, so I visit Sam's house once or twice a week while she sleeps and just stare at her. Is that a crime? Didn't think so.

* * *

"That's better" Tucker said. "Now if you two lovebirds can shut up back there, we can land"

I walked up to the control panel and turned the cruise control off.

I then flew down to the piece of land. I couldn't believe my eyes.

"Danny?" Sam said, waving her hand in front of my face. "You alright?"

"It has to be…" I said trancelike.

I saw an old man. He had wrinkly blue skin and had a golf jacket on with plaid pants. He also had a golf hat on and sunglasses.

I landed the speeder and poked my head out of the door.

"Who is that?" the old man said. "No trespassers! Anyone who trespasses gets a golf club in the face!"

I walked out of the speeder, in ghost form now.

I stared at the old man. He stared at me with the same look in my eyes: shock.

"Danny?" he asked. "I-is that you?"

"Grandpa?" I asked, with a tear in my eye.

We both stood there for a second until he spread his arms out.

I ran to him and hugged him tight. He hugged back. My Grandpa was in the ghost zone, and I found him. We pulled apart and had a look of confusion.

"What the hell happened to ya?" he said. "One of your dad's experiments made ya weird lookin'?"

"You could say that…" I said.

* * *

"So, your father created a ghost portal," my Grandfather said, sipping some coffee with rum, "you went into it to see if it worked, and you turned into a ghost boy?"

"That's about the size of it" I said.

"I KNEW you looked familiar!" he said. "YOU'RE Danny Phantom! There's a story a week in the newspaper here"

He handed me a copy of The Ghost Zone Chronicles. I saw a picture of myself.

"Looks like I have some sort of cult following going on" I said.

"To say the least" my Grandfather said. "Hey, who are these two again?"

"You remember Sam and Tucker?" I said, moving my hand to their direction.

"Oh yeah!" he said. "The Goth and the Geek"

"Hey, that hurt!" Tucker said.

"I'm just kidding" Grandpa said. "Hey, I remember you, Sam. You know, Danny's always had a thing for you. You know when he was 6 he…"

"GRANDPA!" I said.

"Whoops!" Grandpa said. "Sorry"

I saw Sam blush.

"So, how'd you die?" Sam asked.

My eyes widened.

"Actually" I said. "I don't think…"

"No, Danny" Grandpa said. "They should know"

"Ok" I said.

* * *

"It all happened 7 years tomorrow." Grandpa said. "I was a smoker. I knew the risks, but I've been smoking since I was like 14, Danny's age. So, anyway, I was on the18th hole on a golf course. I was smoking a Cuban. And all of a sudden, my heat gave up and…well….here I am"

I sniffled, wiping a tear from my eyes.

My grandpa moved a hand near my shoulder, but Sam's hand made it there first. She patted my shoulder and smiled at my Grandfather. My Grandfather smiled back.

"But why aren't you in…you know…Heaven?" I asked.

"You know, I thought the same thing myself." Grandpa said. "But then I found out the same thing every single ghost here now knows."

"Which is…" I asked.

"Ghosts are only here because they have 'unfinished business' to take care of. And apparently, I have unfinished business."

"Wow" Sam said. "Harsh"

"Well" I said. "I have a proposition for ya, Gramps"

"If it'll get me out of this fuckin' place, I'll do it. I have no digital cable here" he said.

"Kind of a potty mouth" Sam whispered to me.

"Try being _related_ to him" I whispered back. "So, you remember a man named Edward J. Lancer?"

"Ed?" Grandpa asked. "Yeah, my old partner. Why?"

'I need your help. The guy's being a jerk. We need your help to straighten him out."

"Why me?"

"Ever read 'A Christmas Carol'?" I asked.

"No"

"Ok…" I said. "Have you ever seen the movie 'Scrooged"?"

"Oh yeah!" Grandpa said. "Bill Murray, Carol Kane, John Forsythe. Was _that_ based off the book?"

"Yes…" I said.

"So, what about it?" Grandpa said.

"Well, first we need help from another ghost."

"Who?"

"Klemper. The ice ghost"

"Jesus" Grandpa said. "Not him."

"Yes him" I said. "And we need him Tomorrow"

"Why tomorrow?" Sam asked.

"Because we're finally gonna get some snow at home." I said. "And nothing but snow can freeze an old man's already frozen heart."

"Man, you need to think up new ending sentences" Tucker said.

"Tucker" I said. "Shut up. I'm trying…"

* * *

Ok. That was a long chapter. Read and review please!

PhantomAL


	6. Ghost Of A Host

Wow, one day since I updated. enjoy!  
PhantomAL

* * *

Chapter 5

Ghost of A Host

(Danny's POV)

"I knew that guy could help us SOME WAY or another." I said, watching Klemper snowing up a storm outside while in class. The snow was already up to 10 inches, and everyone in the class took notice of it.

"Ok, if you take the square root of 346 and multiply it by the amount of snow outside and….what the hell?" the teacher said, finally taking notice of the snow.

I was holding on to Sam's hand, and-at the same time- focusing all of my ghost energy on her, thereby making her invisible.

"I think Klemper's outdone himself" Sam said.

"Shh" I said. "Whisper. Remember, even though you're invisible, people can still hear you."

"Right" Sam whispered. "Sorry"

The next class bell then rang and the class left the classroom. As I held on to Sam's hand, even an invisible one, made me blush. Here I was, holding the hand the one I loved, and no one knew it but Sam and Tucker. And as I held Sam's hand, I felt her hand get hot and sweaty. I think she feels the same way… Here comes lancer.

* * *

"Mr. Fenton" he said. "Why the red face? Embarrassed again?"

"By what, exactly?" I said.

"Oh, by anything" he said. "Can't really tell with you"

"Look Mr. Lancer" I said. "Why did you have to expel Sam? She didn't do anything."

"Well then, who did you think it was?"

"I don't know." I said. "What about Paulina? She hates Sam, she probably wanted her expelled to get rid of her."

"Like I should believe you" he said, walking away.

"You should" I said. "You know, maybe you should be a little less of a jerk to everyone"

Lancer stopped in his tracks. He turned around and walked towards me.

"Care to repeat that, Fenton?" he asked.

"You heard me" I said, suddenly fearless. "A jerk. Sam had no right to be expelled. She's a great person who wouldn't do anything like what you'd call 'unacceptable'. But that's what I like about her. And you just expelled the greatest person in this school!"

I felt Sam's hand get warm.

* * *

Lancer stood silent, but he had a pissed look on his face. He then grabbed my arm and pulled me inside of the broom closet. I did not let go of Sam's hand once.

He closed the door once we were inside of the closet. He took a key and locked the door. He stared at me angrily for a second then spoke.

"That's the last time, Fenton." He growled. "That's the last time you ever make me look bad in front of this school, you hear me? I make $31,000 a year and I have a home and I'm not throwing it all away on some punk like you. But someday when you're outta here and forgotten about this place and everyone here has forgotten about you, and you're wrapped up in your own pathetic life, I'm gonna be there. That's right. And I'm gonna kick the living shit out of you. I'm gonna knock your dick in the dirt."

I stood there silent.

"A-are you threatening me?" I asked, someone scared.

"What are you gonna do about it?" He asked. "You think anyone's gonna believe you? You think anyone gonna take your word over mine? I'm a man of respect around here. They love me. I'm a swell guy. You're a lying sack of monkey shit, and everyone knows about it."

I stood there silent again. I clinched my fists together. I had a someone angry look in my eyes. Sam squeezed my hand and rubbed it with her thumb. I then relaxed. But I was still angry.

"Oh, you're a tough guy." Lancer said, noticing my anger. "Hey c'mon. Get on your feet pal! Let's find out how tough you are."

He took his jacket off and clapped his hands hard.

"I wanna know how tough you are. Let's go. C'mon man, just take the first shot. I'm begging you, take the first shot. Just take one good swing..." He said, pointing to his chin. But I didn't budge. I just stood there, squeezing Sam's hand.

"I knew it" Lancer said. "You're a gutless turd. You'll never amount to anything around here. And maybe a few hours in here will clear your empty head out"

He walked out, locking the door.

* * *

As soon as he locked the door. I yelled.

"FUCK YOU!" I screamed.

I then sat down on the ground. And you know what I did?

I cried.

I let go of Sam's hand and crawled up into the corner and cried. Sam walked over to me and sat down.

She put an arm around me and laid her head down on mine.

"C'mon, Danny" she whispered. "It's ok"

I myself felt lower. But I had Sam to make me feel better. She then kissed me on my forehead and held my hand.

I wiped my tears and smiled at Sam.

"You are the first person who's ever seen me cry" I said.

"The yearbook committee's gonna have field day…" Sam joked.

I laughed.

"The plan is gonna be put into action. Tonight" I said.

* * *

By the time we got out of the closet, it was 4:00. Now, I couldn't just phase outta the closet, because, lets face it, someone would catch me and Sam in the act. But, everyone was still at school. For some strange reason, the entire building was under 15 feet of snow. The news crew somehow here because someone gave them a tip that a zombie was living somewhere in the broom closet.

"I am reporter Sum Yun Gai, here with the 'round-the-clock weather report at Casper High. One thing comes to this reporter's mind: why the hell are WE stuck in this school?"

* * *

So the hours went by at the school. We were stuck there for the 4 hours. It was 8:00 by now, and I was already calling in my Grandpa to come in the school. Sam, Tucker, and I were in the old abandoned hallway at school.

"Ok Grandpa" I said on the walkie-talkie I clutched in my hand. "It's time"

He then phased through the school.

"Jesus" he said. "This place is a disasterarea. No wonder the place went to hell after I left"

"Ok, Lancer's office is down the hall" Sam said, pointing down the hall.

"No need to tell me" Grandpa said. "I kind of WORKED here"

Grandpa then flew down to Lancer's door.

* * *

Lancer was busy fixing a drink. Vodka, Coke, and sugar. He gulped the drink down and walked to his chair.

He then heard a knock on the door.

He turned around.

Another knock. And another, and another, and another, each one louder than the next.

"This office is closed!" Lancer said, hiding behind his desk. "This entire wing of the school is closed!"

The door then seemed as it was made of rubber. It bent as if it were being inflated. And then…

* * *

BOOM!

* * *

The door exploded into a million pieces. And there stood David Lancer.

"How's it goin, Lance?" he said, walking towards Lancer's wine rack.

Lancer then stood there scared. He pulled a handgun out of his desk drawer. Lancer started shooting at my grandfather. The bullets didn't affect him as he poured a drink.

"Look Ed" he said. "You can shoot me until the cows come home, but take it easy on the Bacardi"

Lancer then realized who the figure before him was. Grandpa took a large gulp of the drink.

"Oh my God" he said. "Y-you're…"

"David Fenton" Grandpa said. "Your old partner and friend"

"But you're……………………………………………..dead." Lancer choked out.

"Seven years tonight" David said.

"Has it been that long?" Lancer asked, trying to make light of the shit heap he was sitting in.

"Oh Ed" Grandpa said. "Ed, Ed, Ed, you are in trouble"

"Ok" Lancer said. "Let's say for the sake of argument that you're right, I am in trouble. Now, what would that mean?"

"Look at me" Grandpa said. "Look at you're future. Now if you don't stop actin' like a dick, you're gonna end up doomed, like me. One minute, I'm on the green on the Amity Park Community Golf Course, next minute, I'm worm chow"

"No" Lancer said, chuckling. "You're not worm chow. You are a HALLUCINATION! Brought on by alcohol, Russian Vodka, poisoned by Chernobyl. I've had a rough week, and I…"

"SILENCE!" Grandpa yelled, grabbing onto Lancer's neck.

"Ow" Lancer said.

"I was a brilliant businessman" Grandpa said. "A captain of industry, feared by men, adored by women"

"_Adored?_" Lancer asked sarcastically. "Let's be honest Dave, you paid for the women!"

"I'm warnin' you!" Grandpa said. "Don't make your life a waste like I did"

"Waste?" Lancer said. "What the hell are you talkin' about? You're a legend in this school! You're the one who invented the in-school suspension! You were a huge man of business!"

"MANKIND SHOULD'VE BEEN MY BUISNESS!" my Grandpa yelled.

That shut Lancer up.

"Now, it's too late for me." Grandpa continued. "But you still have a chance"

Lancer looked at Grandpa, confused.

"You are going to be visited by three ghosts" Grandpa said. "Expect the first when the clock says 9:00"

"Look, I really loved this reunion" Lancer said. "But I really don't have time to…"

"This is no joke, Ed! THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE!"

"Ok. I could probably meet you tomorrow at a restaurant or something but…"

Grandpa had enough. He grabbed Lancer by the throat and lifted him up in the air. Grandpa then phased Lancer through the window. Lancer looked down.

"AHHH!" he screamed.

"You can change!" Grandpa said.

"Please Dave!" Lancer sobbed. "They'll think I'm a suicide!"

"Merry Christmas" Grandpa said.

* * *

Then he let Lancer go.

He fell and fell and fell as he screamed. But he did not hit the ground. Instead…

"AHHH!" Lancer screamed, falling on his desk.

He opened his eyes as he looked around. He was back in his office. He then stood up and realized that the door was back to normal. The entire ordeal probably never happened.

Lancer then felt something in his throat. He opened his mouth as something came out.

A golf ball.

The same golf ball that Grandpa used when he died on the course.

Lancer calmly took the ball and dropped it on the desk.

One bounce.

Two bounces.

Three.

Four.

And then Lancer fainted on the desk.

* * *

I watched the whole thing happen through the door.

"My friends" I said to Sam, Tucker, and Grandpa. "We are about to un-Scrooge a Scrooge."

* * *

MAN! This took me a long time. Please read and review please.  
PhantomAL 


	7. Setting Up Phase 1

Man, 2 new episodes in one week. Butch is havin' a field day. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter! Noonch.  
PhantomAL

* * *

Chapter 6

Setting Up Phase 1

(Danny's POV)

Lancer stood up a few minutes later after fainting. He looked around and stopped at the clock. He saw that the time was 8:59.

"Expect the first ghost when the clock says 9:00" Grandpa's voice rang in his ears.

Lancer watched in horror as the clock's big and little hand went to 9:00. Lancer closed his eyes, waiting for the ghost to come.

"Ok, Tucker" I said. "You got the costumes I asked for?"

"Sure did" Tuck said, pulling out a large bag from a costume store. I pulled out my costume. A ragged coat, a fake cigarette, and a taxi driver's hat.

"What's with the taxi get-up?" Sam asked.

"Grandpa said that he saw the movie _Scrooged_ right?" I asked.

"Yeah…"

"Well, the Christmas past ghost is a taxi driver. And, because Lancer _always_ reads the book and never the movie, I figured…"

"That we'd be the characters out of the MOVIE and not the book!", Sam said.

"You are the smart one" I said to Sam.

She then looked at her costume with shock.

"You have got to be kidding me…" she said,

I started to laugh.

"That's how she looks" I said.

"No problem" Sam said, pulling out black spray paint and scissors.

"So, Tucker" I said. "Are you coming with us?"

"And mess up the space/time continuum?" he asked. "No way. My life's already messed up as it is. Last thing I need is me to mess it up back then!"

"Ok…" I said. "Sam, you're still coming, right?"

"Of course" she said. "Someone's gotta get your ass out of trouble"

"Ha ha" I said. "Very funny. I'll remember that the next time Skulker corners you in a dark ally"

"You wouldn't do that, right Danny? Not save me?"

"Maybe…" I said.

She then slapped me on the back of my head.

* * *

So, I put on the taxi driver garb and flew out of the school. I flew down next to a taxi that Grandpa "borrowed" from the junkyard and then put an engine and wheels on it that he also "borrowed" from Lancer's car. I then looked at my watch.

"9:01" I said. "HEY MAC!" I yelled.

Lancer looked down at me from his window office. He didn't recognize me, not only because of the Taxi driver garb, but because I was in my ghost mode.

"I can get you home, buddy!" I said in a New York accent.

"Really?" he said.

"Yeah!" I said. "Grab this rope!"

I threw up a long rope to Lancer's office window. He climbed out and climbed down the rope.

* * *

"Is the device in?" I whispered to Jazz on a walkie talkie. Yes, Jazz. She had to help me somehow. So I figured that she would sneak into my dad's lab and grab the Ecto-Converter and dad's old time machine prototype.

"Yeah, Danny" she said. "But are you sure that you want to do this, traveling back in time and all?"

"It's the only way" I said. "Besides, I've always wanted to go back in time. And I'm sure this'll work."

"Ok" she said. "Just be careful."

"Ok, Jazz" I said. "See ya later."

"See ya" she said. "Jazz out"

* * *

By the time I turned off the walkie-talkie, Lancer was down from his office.

"Thanks a lot" he said. "I really needed to get out of there"

"Tis the season to help people out" I said.

"Whatever" Lancer said, getting into the taxi.

"You might want to buckle up" I said, getting into the drivers seat. "These roads can get pretty icy"

"Uh huh" Lancer said. "My house is 666 Westford Street. And it's about…"

He didn't get a chance to finish, because I slammed down on the gas pedal and off we went.

"AUGHH!" Lancer yelled.

This was hard because at the same time, whilst driving, I was holding Sam's hand, making invisible. Which was hard, because this thing had a shift. But Sam used her free hand to move the stick shift.

"Hey, slow down" Lancer yelled from the back seat.

"Hey don't worry, Ed" I said. "Enjoy the ride!"

"How do you know my name?" he asked me.

"I know everything ABOUT you, Ed" I said. "You see…"

I turned around and looked at him.

"…I'm the ghost"

He looked at me with a shocked look. He looked at my custom-made license which said: "Ghost of Christmas Past"

* * *

Oh, boy. The plot is coming up! Hope you enjoy this chapter! I'll be updating this thing by the Wednesday. So, read and review!

PhantomAL


	8. Thunderstruck

Hey thanks for the reviews ev'rybody! And with Xmas break coming up this Friday, I'll be updating a LOT. So, enjoy this new chapter! Noonch.  
PhantomAL

* * *

Chapter 7  
Thunderstruck

(Danny's POV)

"Ok, let me out of here!" Lancer yelled. "I'm serious! I have a lawyer! THEY'LL BE HELL TO PAY!"

I of course didn't hear this because "Thunderstruck" by AC/DC was blasting through the radio. Through Sam's hand, I felt her head knock up and down to the beat along with mine.

I then started to laugh. I was having the time of my life: I was torturing Lancer, I was listening to my favorite song, and best of all, I was holding on to the hand of the one I love. But all good things must come to an end, and I needed to get back to my job.

"Hey Lancer" I yelled over the music. "How old are you?"

"47" he said. "Why!"

"Cause we're about to take a trip" I said. I pulled down a red lever. Suddenly, the fare, which started as "2005", started to go backwards. A bright light flashed through and around the cab. And the fare started to go back faster and faster. Until…

* * *

BANG!

The flashing started to slow down as well as the car. The smoke settled as the cab coasted down a 60's looking neighborhood.

"Ok pal" Lancer said from the back seat. "Where are we?"

"_Where_ are we?" I asked. "You mean _when_ are we!" I pointed to the fare, which now said "1962". Lancer's eyes went wide.

We slowed down until we stopped at a house. It was the only house that wasn't decorated. No lights, no reef, no blow-up Santa, no nothing.

"Welcome home, Ed' I said, getting out of the car. I was still holding on to Sam's hand, keeping her invisible. If Lancer saw her, the jig would be up.

"Oh my God" Lancer said. "It's my old house. Looks like Dad didn't put up the Christmas lights yet"

"Come on, Ed" I said. "It's Christmas Eve"

Lancer then had a "I'm not falling for it" look on his face.

"I get it" he said. "You're gonna show me my family and everything and I'm supposed to get all touchy-feely and blubbery and shit like that. Well forget bub, you got the wrong guy."

"Ok, Ed" I said. "But trust me when I say that you're gonna regret sayin that."

"Let's just get this over with" he said.

* * *

I walked in front of him, phasing through the door. I just couldn't help myself when I saw Lancer attempt to do the same. He just slammed his face on the door. I laughed from inside the house.

"That was a GREAT joke" he said sarcastically.

"Isn't it?" I chuckled.

I then opened the door, letting him in. I was still laughing, and I could tell that Sam was too.

"Hey keep it down" Lancer said as we walked towards the living room. "My parents are going to see us"

"Relax, Ed" I said. "They can't see us, they can't here us. It's not an original story, it's kinda like a reprint."

Lancer's eyes widened when he saw a small 4 year old boy that he knew very well.

"It's me as a kid" he whispered.

Yes, it was Lancer as a four year old. His small head in a book. I looked at the title of the book.

* * *

"A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens.

* * *

"My God, I hate irony" I said.

I then looked at the women on the couch, reading a newspaper.

"Mom…" Lancer said. I noticed he had a small tear in his eye.

I then watched as his father came into the door. He was wearing a long green overcoat, had long black hair and a baseball cap.

"I can see where Kevin Smith got inspiration for Silent Bob" I said.

His father lugged a large package. I sniffed it. It smelt HORRIBLE.

"Jesus!" I said. "What was your dad's job?"

"Meat marketing" Lancer said.

I felt Sam's hand tighten over mine.

"Let me at him" she whispered. "2 minutes, that's all I need"

"Shh!" I whispered, squeezing her hand.

Her grip loosened as mine did also.

Lancer's dad came over to Lancer as a kid. He laid down the horrid smelling package.

"Merry Christmas, Eddy" he said.

"A new encyclopedia?" Lancer asked.

"No, its 5 pounds of veil" Lancer's dad said.

"But I wanted the new encyclopedia" Mini-Lancer said.

"Well get a JOB and BUY a new encyclopedia for cripes sake!" Lancer's dad said.

"Now Bob" Lancer's mom said.

"Don't 'Now Bob' me, Jen" Lancer's dad said. "It's time that Ed learns that life isn't handed to him on a silver platter. You want something, you gotta be persistent and tough."

Lancer's dad walked into his room, complaining on bunions on his left foot.

Lancer's mom got up from the couch.

"Merry Christmas, Eddy angel" she said, kissing Lancer Jr. on the cheek.

"Merry Christmas, mommy" he said.

I watched as tears began to slowly fall down Lancer's face. I actually felt bad for the guy.

* * *

We walked out as Lancer sniffled a little. I offered him a napkin I snuck from his house. He pushed it away.

"I was touched by a gift" he said, not crying anymore. "A four year old receiving what at today's prices equals forty bucks on today's market"

"Uh huh" I said. "And from what I heard you spent the next 15 years of your life sittin' on your ass reading books"

"Hey, check your 'records', pal" Lancer said. "I did some stuff. Like one Thursday I saved the universe from aliens wanting the meaning of life"

"That was Arthur Dent from "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"" I said.

Lancer looked defeated.

"There was this other time where I asked Santa for an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle. With…"

"YOU'RE SO PATHETIC!" I yelled. "THAT WAS FROM "A CHRISTMAS STORY"! YOU MORON! Let's face it Ed, dead earthworms got more out of life than you!"

"Name ONE!" he said. "Now take me to my office."

"Gladly"

* * *

Well, I hope you guys like this chapter. Read and review. Also, look out for a new chapter of "Seasons of Love" the day AFTER Christmas.  
PhantomAL 


	9. Authors Note

Ok, due to Christmas shopping and stuff WAY BEYOND my control, I wont be able to finish "XMAS" Story by Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. I'm very, VERY SORRY for this. But think about it, "Dead Man's Party" is still going on WAY past Halloween.

AND, there's a message here. Sure this story will go past Christmas, but you should treat every day like Christmas. It's the one time of the year that everyone is nicer to each other, and that shouldn't be just ONCE a year. Plus…uh…my computer has been kinda screwy lately. So, sorry bout that. So, be patient and MERRY CHRISTMAS!

PhantomAL


	10. Warm Heart In The Cold Snow

Chapter 8  
Warm Heart in the Cold Snow

* * *

(Danny's POV)

SCREECH!

The tires slid across the road as we traveled through time once again, this time stopping 20 years later in front of my school in the 80's.

"Where are we?" Lancer asked, getting out of the cab.

"You SAID you wanted to go to your office" I said. "And here we are. I'm a ghost of my word."

We walked into the school and got on the elevator.

"The school doesn't have an elevator" Lancer said.

"Correction" I said. "The school DID have an elevator. But when you came along as the Vice Principal, you decided to get rid of it because you said it would cost too much, ya friggin' cheapskate"

As the elevator went up, Sam, Lancer, and I started to hear music. As the elevator continued to go up, the music got louder. I made out the voice of Robert Goulet, singing "Jingle Bell Rock". The elevator stopped at the top floor, the office floor.

The doors opened to reveal people having dancing and having fun. Drinking egg nog with rum, and xeroxing there butts on paper.

"What's going on?" Lancer asked.

"Don't you know a Christmas party when you see one?" I asked. "They've had Christmas parties for years. Well, until _you_ came along, at least"

And there we saw Lancer as a 24 year old. He had, get this, HAIR. He had long, curly black hair. And he was skinnier too. And it looked like he was the only one not having fun. I saw him, clutching papers and looking down at them.

"Jeez, were you always a stiff?' I asked.

A blonde with big poofy hair came up to 20's-Lancer.

"Hey, Ed" she said.

"Oh, hi Elle" Lancer said.

"Hey, do you wanna go out for Chinese food?"

"Actually, no. I hear that they're choppin' up cats and putting them into the Chop Sui. And, I actually have to go"

20's-Lancer walked away to the elevator.

"You IDIOT!" Lancer screamed at himself. "YOU MORON! Go back to her! I can't believe it. Why didn't I go back to her? She was crazy about me!"

"Not that one, Ed" I said, pulling him into the elevator. "THIS one"

* * *

WHAM!

"Ahh" Lancer grunted as he hit the ground.

Outside in the city of Amity Park, a department store door hit Lancer in the forehead. The opener of the door was carrying gifts. And she was a woman.

"Oh my God" she said. "I'm so sorry"

"Cupid's arrow, right between the eyes" I chuckled from inside the cab.

The woman put her bags down and bent down to help him.

"You poor man" she said.

"Thanks" Lancer said. "I-" He couldn't finish. He was staring at the beautiful angel in front of him. She had long brown hair and green eyes.

"Where did I hit you?" the woman asked.

"You got me right here," Lancer said pointing to his forehead, "and the sidewalk got me in the back of my head"

The girl laughed.

Lancer helped the woman pick up her things.

"Thanks…Ed" the woman said, looking at Lancer's name tag. "My names Christine" She shook Lancer's hand.

"Hey, there's this Christmas party going on down the street" Lancer said. "Wanna go?"

"Not really" Christine said, smiling.

"Me neither" Lancer said, making the girl laugh.

They stared at each other for a few seconds until Christine spoke up.

"Would you like to get some Chinese food?" she asked.

In the background, I could've sworn I heard the screech of a cat.

* * *

I started up the cab again.

"Hey, where are we goin' now?" Lancer asked from the back seat.

"You are gonna love this" I said, as we traveled one year into the future.

The cab stopped in front of an apartment building.

Lancer opened the door, landing on a rail outside of the window of his and Christine's old apartment. Sam, still invisible, mind you, and I were standing next to him. We were through the window of the bathroom, where Christine was in the bathtub.

I chuckled a little bit, forgetting that Sam was standing right next to me. She punched me hard in the arm with her free hand.

"Pervert" she said. "Look at something else. Hey, look. There's a gorilla climbing up a building"

"Christine!" Lancer whined.

"What?" she said.

"Can we open the presents NOW?" Lancer whined like a 4 year old.

I closed my eyes as Christine got out of the bathtub and put on a robe. She walked to the other room, where we phased into.

"Ok, one present on Christmas Eve" Christine said, kneeling down beside Lancer near the Christmas tree.

"One?' Lancer asked. "Jeez, you know, if my parent really wanted to spoil me, they'd let me open all of them on Christmas Eve. Here' you open the first one"

Christine and Lancer sat down on the couch. Christine opened up the package Lancer had given her.

"A Ginsu Knife set!" she said, kissing Lancer. "Thanks!"

"I never liked a woman enough to give her 12 sharp knives" Lancer said.

* * *

And so we watched on, as two years passed in two minutes. At some parts, Sam made me close my eyes. I have NO IDEA WHY!

We then saw the last memory, which was kinda sad. I actually saw Lancer crying a little.

"What do you mean that you wont be here this year?" Christine asked.

"I just have to go to this business meeting" Lancer said."It's really important. I might be able to be vice principal!"

"But it's the Christmas we were gonna go to my parent's house. You promised them"

"You know, sometimes things like Christmas are less important to things like, oh I don't know, KEEPING ONE'S JOB!"

Christine slapped him on the cheek.

"Well, if it means that much to you, even more than me,then I guess we shouldn't see each other for a while" Christine said, tears in the eyes."Goodbye, Ed"

And with that, she walked away.

* * *

Lancer and I looked through the window of the apartment building.

"Let me get this straight" I said. "You gave up the love of a great woman just so you could go to a business meeting? Ed, you don't know who you are, you don't know where you're going, and you don't know what's going on. I can't believe that Christine ever loved you, ya schmuck"

"Hey" Lancer said, not looking at me. "I DO know who I am, I DO know where I'm going, and I SURE AS HELL know what's going on"

"Hey, Ed" I said, in the cab, leaving him at the apartment building.

"What's going on!"

"See ya!" I said, driving off.

And with that, Lancer was back in his office. It was 10:00 pm now. 2 ghosts left. Now, things really started to get interesting.

* * *

Ok, I KNOW it's past Christmas, but I'm still putting these things up! So, read and review!  
PhantomAL 


	11. Cast And Crew Jingle

Here we go AGAIN! I just had to put this up as a cop out for the upcoming chapters. Enjoy!  
PhantomAL

* * *

Chrismahanakwanzikus Productions  
Presents

A  
PhantomAL  
Fanfiction

**XMAS Story**

Starring  
David Kaufman- Danny Fenton/Phantom/Ghost of Christmas Past  
Grey DeLisle- Sam Manson/Ghost of Christmas Present  
Rickey Collins- Tucker/ Ghost of Christmas Future  
Ron Perlman- Edward J. Lancer  
Jon Stewart- Himself  
Sum Yung Gai- Justin Long  
Christine- Lauren Graham  
And  
George Carlin  
As  
"Grandpa David"

Based off Characters and a Story by  
Butch Hartman  
John Hughes  
And  
Charles Dickens

Music by  
Danny Elfman

Written and Directed by  
PhantomAL


End file.
